Update 1/11/17:

ACROCATS R BACK Jan. 26 – Feb. 6! Put your paws in the air and wave them in the air. Buy tickets right meow.

Original 2/24/15 post:

So picture this. You’re going about your business when someone, you know… but don’t know-know… suggests “You’d like this” and sends a link. The link leads you to an eventbrite ticket page. It’s called “The Amazing Acro-cats Hustle in Houston” and you die a little.

You easily convince two of your cat friends who are fur sure down, and hightail it to your credit card to spend $60 on a cat show. You trek out to the east end to the FrenetiCore Theatre (whut?) with a bottle of wine in your purse. You buy cat ears and selfie with the cat van (whut?) and then with the cat-dressed ticket taker (WHUT). You take your seat among the MOST RANDOM crowd of all time: parents and children, couples (how romantic) and three girls taking WAY too many pictures and who are way too invested in all the cats’ every move.

What is your reaction?

Ours: what the ACTUAL eff is happening.

I learned three things in the hour-long show and 45-minute meet and greet (WHUUUUUT), and I’ll share it with you because the rest of the shows sold out (whuttttttt) so you may not have seen it.

1. Cats are assholes. I’m not convinced a show featuring temperamental animals is very profitable, bc cats literally do whatever the hell they want. Sure, they’ll follow your hand… if there’s food in it. Yeah, they’ll come out of their cages, but they’ll walk around and stretch some before they do what you want. They are pretty much the worst, and the show had everything go to plan… well nah. Maybe 50% tops. How is this a thing.

2. You can date a guy max 3 months before he realizes you have 16 cats. So, the lady that leads the show (and the cats) is single. She shared this fun fact. I found it encouraging, actually.

3. I should thank all of my friends for withholding judgement on the things that I do. Like wear cat ears on the regular, and for all the cat puns I make all the time. It was honestly hard to refrain from dropping like a thousand in this post. But, when it comes to cat puns, a litter goes a long way.