So for, like, the first time ever, it truly was the most dramatic Bachelorette ever. Kaitlyn loves Clint, Clint loves JJ, and JJ loves attention. #BrosBeforeHoes #BrokebackBachelor
We picked up at the end of last week’s rose ceremony (mid Kupah meltdown) and Houston went home (wahhh) while Healer slides into home (#producerpick). He does peace out this episode, but on his own terms (namaste, homie). Then some guys fought each other (again—this time with private parts exposed) and Kaitlyn made the other guys stand in front of an audience while they crashed and burned (again—this time with private parts exposed). The entire episode had splices of the bromance throughout. I super enjoyed it. How absolutely ridiculous is this show, y’all? Pass me the
wine bottle can of sparkling water.
About as ridiculous as online dating. Seriously, how similar is The Bachelorette to Bumble?
- A girl has her pick of guys
- The guys have fake jobs
- The girl (The Bachelorette) has to put the gears in motion
Allmost of the relationships don’t work out.
So, basically, The Bachelorette = Bumble. Here’s their profiles.
Some sort of creative job
Knock knock. Who’s there? True love. True love who? IDK I’M STILL FIGURING IT OUT, EH.
Personal trainer, your mom would hate me.
Windsor Locks, CT
I’m Ryan Gosling. JK. But…. Hey girl.
If you wanna talk to me, you have to instigate it. This is the perfect app. JJ is my BFF and lover.
St. Louis, MO
I see the world through the eyes of a child. Don’t make me fight anyone for you. I mean, I will, but then I’ll complain about it.
Restaurant manager (free effing food)
I own, like, a LOT of cardigans so you know was sup. I’ll also take a punch for you for you for you. (Sorry, concussion bc I’m tough, remember)
Chris Harrison, no clue his age
Professional matchmaker and rose supplier
Bachelor mansion (I’m not allowed to leave)
I’m single but no one gives me roses 🙁
Villain (no real job)
I follow where Kaitlyn goes
I’m cute, but I’ll annoy ALL your guy friends, tbh.
All photos are screenshots from ABC previews.