I actually love this way of Birchbox/Ipsy reviews—pinning them against each other. I get them at the same time and I’m like, “oooohhh Ipsy is going to beat the ish out of Birch… oh wait, is that cucumber?!?”

I’ve been beaching it up, y’all. Proof:

Specifically, I’ve been traveling the world (ahem, east coast—from New York to Miami), so these carry-on friendly things are just my favorites. I threw them immediately into a pouch (from Ipsy, mind you) and tossed into my bag. So now that my travels have paused (for a second) I can tell you all about ’em!

Round 1: Cucumbers don’t stain

COOLA Classic SPF 30 Cucumber Moisturizer for Face (Birch)

J. Cat Beauty Liptitude Hydrating Lip Stain (Ipsy)

Fact: I need sunscreen, because I’m a sun worshipper. Fact: This sunscreen smells like a cucumber gin cocktail and I want it. Fact: My face is now peeling because this sunscreen ain’t so great. I do love this stain tho. The color is a little to pinky, but man does it stay on.

Winner: Ipsy. BC stain > burn.

Round 2: Hello goodbye.

Harvey Prince Hello Body Cream (Birch)

Smashbox Cosmetics Photo Finish Foundation Primer (Ipsy)

Maybe my standards are high now, but you gotta bring your A game. That cream lasted one second post Miami sun (but I don’t blame the sun, I blame the super small bottle. Wamp.) Also, I have no clue what this photo finish thing is. It’s a primer, right? So it goes on first? Didn’t make a difference.

Winner: Null. I could live without either. 

Round 3: Again, with the cucumber.

L. Erickson Grab & Go Pony Tube (Birch)

BioRepublic SkinCare Sheet Mask Trio (Ipsy)

Yo. So, Pony Tube sounds disgusting. And it’s just a fancy pony tail. I do like these masks (currently wearing this cucumber one) and besides feeling like the Texas Chainsaw Massacre guy (i.e. putting someone else’s skin on my face), I love it.

Winner: Ipsy. The masks, DUH. 

Round 4: Two ain’t better than one.

NYC New York Color Liquid Eyeliner (Ipsy)

Temple Spa Good Hair Day Shampoo (Birch)

Temple Spa In Good Condition Conditioner (Birch)

Even the fancy-schmancy shampoo and conditioner can’t compete with my love of eyeliner. Rejoice! I found one brand (other than ELF) that I can swear by! I took this shampoo and conditioner on vacay, and I’ll have to say, they did wonders for me! But…

Winner: Eyeliner of the tiger. Ipsy!

Round 5: Hold me closer, tiny eyeliners.

tre’StiQue Mini Shadow Crayon (Ipsy)

Marcelle Mini Waterproof Eyeliner Travel Kit (Birch)

I haven’t actually used the Birch eyeliner, although the color looks good. (It’s apparently the right one for my eye color), but I’m too obsessed with the other liquid one! I loveeee the shadow crayon though, smokey eyes for days.

Winner: Smokey eyes for days. Ipsy. 

Wait, did Birchbox even get on the board?

VIVA LA IPSY.