So, everyone follow @Bachsnaps on Snapchats… and if you already do, you got some fine pics from the paradise crew.

So, like everything, I read a lot into each photo. Clearly, there are some secret spoilers in here. Allow me to predict…

Carly and Kirk seem to be pretty close still… hmm are they like totally the new Larcus.

How weird is it that they got married on this, btw? It was like ABC said, “Well, we really don’t want to pay for your wedding since like… you were just runner ups, but will get married during a five minute segment on the next season?” and Larcus was like, “That’s the best we got? Um, ok, but like it’s free right?”

OK, so the previews seem to show that someone comes in to ruin their paradise, but obviously it’s NBD now.

So Jade and Tanner make it… or “make it” in Bach terms means like, they didn’t end up hating each other. Slash, why is a race horse Jade’s emoji? I would’ve voted for the camera emoji or the bikini or the lipstick or tbh a lot of options.

Tweeting is apparently in these contestants contracts. Which they don’t mind because it just quadrupled their followers.

But Mikey is either social media free… or illiterate. I’m betting on the latter.

Mikey has an outlet in his crotch. Turns out, his testosterone is so powerful (like how he just can’t resist taking on a girl he is interested in, ahem, Lauren I.) it can charge phones. Honestly, this is so convenient, I’d consider dating him. THINK OF HOW MUCH I COULD SNAP.

And, Claire is still going strong with her raccoon husband.