DEFINE Bounce (Montrose location only):
TU/TH at 12:15 p.m.; Friday 8:30 a.m. Sign up here!

Win free class passes here!

Rejected titles for this blog include:

• Bounce your way to a hot bod
• I tried a trampoline exercise class and lived to tell the tale
• I said a hip, hop, a hippity hop
• DEFINE the word “trampoline”

At 8:30 on a Friday night I got a text from an unknown number saying I had been promoted from my wait list position to “preview weekend at Define Bounce” and that I was to confirm my spot “Y” for yes and “N” for no.

I was at movie night with my friends, surrounded by tea, tissues and cough drops silently suffering through an obnoxious cold and completely confused about what this text meant (maybe the cold medicine?). And then I remembered! Ah yes, DEFINE! It’s an already established boutique fitness spot with cycle classes, pilates, etc., but they are introducing a trampoline “Bounce” class and had a free day of it. I had signed up, got waitlisted, and, apparently, cleared all memory of it.

I responded with “Y” and reached for another tissue.

After a solid Nyquil-filled 8 hours of sleep, I ate some oatmeal, made some tea, popped some pills and hit the road for the Montrose DEFINE studio. I arrived 15 minutes before my 9:30 class, per instructions. I signed a waiver, locked my belongings in a locker and headed for the Bounce room.

I grabbed two light weights (2 lbs), two heavy weights (4 lbs), a trampoline (apparently 22 lbs, aka I’m weak), and a towel (<1 lbs pre class; >1 lbs post bc of sweat).

Henry, our fabulous instructor, walked around helping everyone set up. He explained the class was 45 minutes, which is about 10 songs. At 9:31, the door closed and the music started, and, not having been on a trampoline since adolescence, I panicked.

Songs 1-2

Warm up, heart rate raising cardio

Henry tries to acclimate us with the trampoline first and shows us good technique (and bad). You’re not going for height, rather trying to stay low and work your leg muscles on the down motion.

I’m loving this! So fun, ah! Bouncing is awesome!

I struggle with alternating legs. It’s really hard to have only one foot down at a time, but if you put two down when you’re trying to go fast, you kind of bounce yourself off rhythm. We also did some twists, where you face one wall, and in one bounce twist to the opposite wall.

I want to look down, but it’s impossible and terrifying when I do. I get the hang of it and am bouncing to the beat of Cheap Thrills by Sia (my favorite song, no less!). The world’s my trampoline oyster and I’m having a blast. By the end of song two, I’m warmed up and loving it.

Songs 3-5

Arms and abs

After warm-up and cardio, we hop (literally) off the trampoline and fix our hands wide on the trampoline, with our feet out for push ups. Wide feet is an adjustment for easier push ups, so I go a head and push those feet apart: Me and push ups aren’t friends. We do several to different tempos.

I think we did abs after this. We laid down and extended our legs up to crunch and reach for our feet, alternating to get the obliques. Honestly, I felt like it was easier on the trampoline than on the floor — the bounce was helpful and the lower back was supported.

Sometime during these three songs in addition to the push ups we do tricep dips (ouch), side planks with hip dips (oucher), and lunges with tricep extensions behind (ouchest). The lunges are the hardest: You have one foot on the trampoline, opposite arm straight back with a light weight and you bounce up and back.

It is now that I’m literally dripping with sweat. Thankfully, I’m not really feeling the congestion/running nose struggles from my cold. That’s the good news.

Songs 6-7

Legs

Ok, to be fair, I was experiencing death by trampoline, so I’m not sure my chronology is 100% accurate. BUT, at some point during the middle of the work out we did another leg-arm combo like the tricep lunges. This one is a squat bicep curl with the heavy weights (one foot on the trampoline, one on the side on solid ground, and the arms curling in the middle as you squat down). Switch sides and repeat.

One, terribly long song is dedicated to leg lifts. We flipped out trampolines up on two legs, and used it like a barre in barre class. We held on to the top and leaned into it, with one leg extended back and lifted. We lifted back, we lifted to the side, switched legs and repeated. It worked the booty, you know, more than Bounce ALREADY did. Bounce should be called B-ouch.

At this point I’m dying. Most of these strength songs end in sprints. So you lunge/squat/lift, then sprint on top of the trampoline. Cruel. I’m both drenched in sweat and really regretting that oatmeal.

I think it was somewhere mid-workout when Henry says, “You guys look good! Well, you look like you’re struggling, but that’s good!”

Songs 8-10

Sprints, abs and cool down

Yippie, we are doing sprints now. I think the leg lifts were supposed to be a “break” and now it’s back to fast footwork “like football players,” Henry explained. Ahh, yes, this is why I don’t play football.

The sprints would have probably been fun, had I not been dying. We would go really fast (out, out, in, in) to the beat, then we would do a little twist (elbow to opposite knee). We also would do the twisting thing I liked from the beginning, but this time with punches. It was SUPER fast, and I was off beat 90% of the time.

Then, we went back to laying down and doing a complicated ab thing, where you twisted your legs and extended them in and out while crunching. This is a blur to me. I’m seeing the light.

We do one last “bounce it out” and then bounce off the trampoline to stretch. We did a vinyasa (down dog to up dog), which was fun little yoga moment I would have appreciated had I not been slipping all over my sweat-covered trampoline.

Conclusion

I think I somehow floated home, immediately peeled my sweaty clothes off and showered. After feeling like a real person again, I started to organize my thoughts for this blog. Looking back, I feel like this is SUCH a fun way to exercise (you know, if you’re NOT sick and full of oatmeal). The trampoline is FUN. It’s so fun to bounce, and yes, it’s super challenging, but I don’t think there has ever been any exercise that has made me as happy as I was bouncing to Sia on a Saturday morning.