If you do brunch like we do every week, you need to mix it up with a buffet every once and a while. Our last brunch buffet was at Baba Yega‘s, but we’ve also done the HUGE Cadillac Bar buffet. Next to add to the eat-everything-brunch list: Americas in River Oaks.

Americas… that sounds familiar… YES. They also have a kick-ass happy hour. OK, back to brunch.

As is every buffet, it’s a multi-step process. Allow me to walk you through.

Step 1: Logistics. Brunch is 10:30 a.m. to 3 p.m. on Sundays at the Americas in River Oaks (Shepherd and West Gray). Park in the parking garage (you pass Americas on Gray and turn left right after the Barnes and Noble). Americas is on the second floor.

Step 2: Let your eyes adjust. Americas is pretty dark inside, definitely designed as a dinner spot (but that doesn’t mean brunch isn’t AMAZING). They do have tables outside, but the patio is eh. I usually do patio for happy hour only.

Step 3: Order a beverage. We did sparkling waters all around, and tried a couple of the spot’s $3 drink specials! Red sangria goes down smooth and Anastasia’s bloody mary was HUGE.

Step 4: First plate. Your first buffet plate is always going to be the biggest hodgepodge of yumminess. Do a lap through their extensive set up. I skipped the made to order omelets and crepes this round. I also skipped the salads, bc I planned to save space for the fattening stuff, duh.  Instead I went for the ceviche, empanadas, sweet plantains, yuca puffs and mashed potatoes. There were some other things, but plate one is always a blur.

Step 5: Tasting. When buffeting, it is very important to taste everything. “Do I like this? I do. Maybe. Another bite, then. YES. Yes, this is good. I will eat the rest of this.” OR. “So I like this? No, no I absolutely do not.” In which case, you abandon it and move on to the next food or plate.

Step 6: Second plate. If you’re really hardcore, you go for another plate of savory. (I am not hardcore). Second savory plate would have been: An omelet, bacon, breakfast potatoes and some of the tons of meat. YUM. Pro tip: Get smaller servings so you are eating less.

Step 7: Basically step 5 again, and you are probably getting pretty full.

Step 8: Third and final plate. Sweets time! I got one of each of the desserts. They are small and I took only a couple bites of each. I also vote a crepe and fruit. My favorite was the bread pudding with tequila sauce. YUM.

Step 9: Regret everything and yet nothing at all.

Step 10: Roll down the stairs to your car.