Now that we all have the JoJo song stuck in our heads, TIME TO DRINK.
Week two and all the bros are burnt already. Because, priorities. JoJo made her suitors fight fire, and DUH the fire fighter won the game, but Wells won her heart (and mine and also a Snapchat follow from me too).
Then Derek/John Krasinski is coming in clutch with the first one-on-one date. They go to San Fran and opt to go to the Golden Gate Bridge for a a picnic, rather than Lombard Street, which is basically just traffic. MAJOR FLASHBACKS TO WHEN I WAS IN SAN FRAN! AHH!
Finally, the second group date was DisneyWorld for 20-something dudes: An ESPN visit. Chad chadded up the date with his ego and condescending. BUT he was rewarded for his “honesty.” Come. On. And our villain this season is….
The episode wrapped up with some how, some way Canadian speedo dude Damn Daniel, villian always eating Chad, songbird James and more getting roses, and Hipster Brandon, Superfan James and Will (WHO?) all got the ax.
Now that we are in full swing this season, time to make things interesting…..
Drink
- Every time someone refers to JoJo as beautiful or hott or sexy or, you get it.
- When someone says “can I steal her?”
- When Chad has squinty eyes
- For every grammatical error
- Every time Chad eats
- Every time someone is bleeped
- Every time you see a hoodie or a V-neck
Chug
- When someone describes her as the “girl of my dreams”
- If contestant has a heart to heart with Chris Harrison
- Every time someone takes of their clothes
- When James Taylor sings or plays guitar
- Every time there’s a date card
- Every time Jordan name drops
Finish your drink
- If someone gets drunk, because, solidarity
- If a contestant interrupts a rose ceremony