Last night, I took one for the team and headed to the Downtown Aquarium to find love people watch at ABC’s The Bachelor / The Bachelorette casting call. It was a trip.

Casting took place from 5pm to 9pm. I rolled in around 6:30pm, checked in at the front desk and got a number. I was #209. My friend TJ, blogger at Section 237, was #210. We then stood in line to get our mugshots pictures taken and played musical chairs waiting for our chance to get interviewed. Luckily, I had filled out the mail-in application beforehand so I wasn’t trying to fill out the six-page application on my lap. I was free to people watch and meet people. And let me tell you there were some people to watch….

First, it was clearly they’re obviously trying to recreate the Bachelor mansion inside the Downtown Aquarium. I hear there’s lots of waiting on around between dates and lots of alcohol–one of the questions on the application is definitely was what’s your favorite alcoholic drink. You know the producers want to be armed to create plenty of mayhem on the show. The Aquarium had a cash bar ready with hilarious cocktails like the “Final Rose”, the “Fantasy Suite”, the “Date Card”, the “First Impression” and the “Real Connection.”

I stuck to beer. (I had brought along my trusty It’s Not Hou It’s Me koozie after all!).

I didn’t get interviewed until close to 9pm. So clearly there was plenty of time to get liquored up. The one girl a few rows in front of me was definitely having a great time and sharing her knowledge about Houston strip clubs and calling us all bitches (I hope she gets casted). The row behind me was a white wine soiree with mom and daughter combo. They had befriended the three people sitting next to them and the mom was buying rounds of wine “for moral support”. Some people were hilariously cramming for a test, trying to remember everyone’s name on the current season and where they were from and who’d they like to be the next Bachelor.

An ABC report was making her rounds around the casting call and interviewing people why they were there (“the vetting process is better than Tinder”) and who they thought was going to win this season’s finale rose (“uuhhh sorry, I haven’t watched and don’t know anyone’s names”). Check out the video (lol idk why this is considered news).

The people who attended the casting call crossed a whole spectrum of people. I talked to everyone from a marketing coordinator who just got off from work to an energy banker who looked like she was on her way to the club. I also ran into a ton of people I knew–including Houston’s own Lindsay of The Tiny Two Talk! I’d say out of the 500 people who were there (at #209 I was somewhere around the middle), only about 50 or so were guys. Pretty much everyone was a 10 and everyone was female. If you’re a dude looking to meet people, the ratio at The Bachelor casting call is definitely in your favor. Everyone is looking to find love hot. Everyone was done up and in heels, meanwhile I’m comfy AF in my cowboy boots.

The interview itself was pretty anticlimactic. ABC had hired some Houston people to run a set of cameras in a side ballroom. (I know, I was also disappointed I didn’t get to meet Chris Harrison or some hot shot LA producer). I got miced up quickly and the interviewer quickly asked me: about my profession, my hobbies, my recent romantic history, and why I want to go on the show. It took two minutes tops and was a whirlwind and fairly districting experience. I was ready to delve into the deep, dark and intimate parts of my relationship history but they obvi had 250 more people to interview after me and were looking to move me out of that chair as fast as possible.

I think if you’re legit looking to get on the show, you’ve probably got a better chance if you just do a selfie video on your iPhone in the peace and quiet of your own home. Also if you’re a guy, because shockingly (no one’s surprised) the majority of the people who rallied to the casting call were women.

I had a blast and half at the casting call. It was basically happy hour but with better people watching. Do I think I’m going to get casted? Absolutely not. If there’s 500 people who showed up in Houston–can you imagine the numbers that applied in NYC, LA, Miami or online?!  For me, the best part of the night was finally getting dinner at Melange Creperie a few blocks away in the Conservatory in Downtown Houston. Regardless of your bachelor affiliation, the crepes taste good every night of the week. They’re always there for the right reasons and will always get my final rose.

Crepes bound and happy