If I could, I’d use emojis for everything. I can’t, so I’ll tell you what happened on this week’s Bachelorette via my emoji skillz (mental note: add to resume). I’m doing this because you absolutely do not want me to weigh in on the drama of Nickgate 2K15. Buy me a drink, and I’ll explain to … Continue reading
Fact: The Bachelorette went to Texas. Fact: This pleases me much. False: San Antonio is in the heart of TX. “Deep in the heart of Texas” is more of a construct than an actual destination. Home is where the heart is, therefore home is the heart of Texas. UGH FOREIGNERS DON’T GET IT. False: Gruene … Continue reading
It’s like day two and they are already jet setting. Where to? To stay in Times Square in NYC where they go on a date in a deserted Met (stahp), copter around the Statue of Liberty (shut the front door) then they dance on Broadway and touch the new years eve ball. WHAT. Thousands of NYC … Continue reading
So for, like, the first time ever, it truly was the most dramatic Bachelorette ever. Kaitlyn loves Clint, Clint loves JJ, and JJ loves attention. #BrosBeforeHoes #BrokebackBachelor We picked up at the end of last week’s rose ceremony (mid Kupah meltdown) and Houston went home (wahhh) while Healer slides into home (#producerpick). He does peace … Continue reading
I’m realizing that I can’t ever be a true feminist as long as I watch The Bachelorette. Just, like… the two don’t compute. Especially this week 2 of the Kaitlyn season. Eek. I need a hole to put my head in. It STORMED in Houston during the episode, so I lost some moments of the … Continue reading
…and all through my apartment. Not a insta went unliked nor a tweet not sent. No wine in the pantry hadn’t been uncorked. And no pasta on our plates went un-forked. I in my yoga pants my friends in theirs too. All patiently waited to see what the producers would do. The clock ticked seven and the … Continue reading
OK, so I’m a little scared of how much of my fake spoilers were right. But I’m more scared of this season. After part one of night one (like an effing Shakespeare play. Act 1, Scene 1: The Sexism in the Foyer), I’m convinced that this season is going to be a shit show, so … Continue reading
For an It’s Not Hou It’s Me exclusive, I sat down with Chris B. Harrison (close personal friend). I got him to gab about some spoilers for the first episode of this season of The Bachelorette, which premieres Monday (you bet your roses we’ll be writing all about it). So here are some very real, … Continue reading
So per usual, Bachelor Monday consisted of wine, food and tons of judgement. Since it was “the biggest finale in Bachelor history” and all, what with Prince Farming finally claiming his princess…and kidnapping her and taking her as prisoner to bumfuck Iowa. Just for shits and giggles, my watch party and I locked in our … Continue reading
HAHA SO LAST NIGHT. I hung out with a bunch of women and drank wine while we watched other women yell at each other over friendship and a boy. People called people insecure and jealous. Tears were shed. Eyes were rolled. And like I wasn’t in a sorority house. It was Women Tell All on … Continue reading