A few weeks ago after a much too fun Housiversary Party, the Brunch Klub went on down to Biskit Junkie in Montrose for some recovery sustenance. Biskit Junkie offers a menu of biscuits, burgers, beer and accompaniments like cheese fries. It also has a “one hit wonders” section with brunch items like chicken and waffles, Mediterranean eggs, and shortrib hash and eggs. If you’re going to go to Biskit Junkie, highly recommend ordering off the biscuit menu. It’s they’re specialty and they’re incredible!
We entered the restaurant with high hopes of refueling and counteracting all the jello-shots we had taken the night before. As soon as we entered the doors, our hopes were immediately crushed. First off, I remember when Biskit Junkie was Mango’s–this sketchy AF, dive bar that I went to in high school (they weren’t super strict on the IDs) to hear hipster bands play. So despite Biskit Junkie being super sleek and redone–bright blue walls, brushed concrete floor, white tiles, and walls knocked down to have access to plenty of natural light, my hangover kept reminding me of the sticky floors and stale beer smell that used to linger in that same spot….but my personal bias aside, the way you order at Biskit Junkie is absolutely BS.
When we showed up at 11:30am there was about 20 people in line to order. You order at a counter with an iPad. So you might read that and think, oh so nice and high tech, what a great operating model that really cuts down on overhead. Let me be the one to tell you that it’s the dumbest idea ever. First off, the menu on the screens above the iPads are so small, you can’t read it until you’re about 5 feet away. Then when you finally get to the iPad, it takes people forever and a day to place the order because it makes you go through a million annoying options. For example, I wanted ice water (re: hangover above). So I click the ice water button, and then it’s like do you want ice, extra ice or no ice? And then it’s giving me pricing options and I’m having to read all this stuff that eventually comes out to being free, but that totally took me an extra 30 seconds. And when you multiply that by all the other decisions I had to make and all the people in line making those same meaningless decisions and struggling with the iPad using learning curve, it amounts to about 30 minutes standing in line. Plus, I wanted to ask someone if one biscuit was better than another and was looking for some human interaction for a real recommendation, that I couldn’t have. Kinda sad when you think about it. Also, the burger menu wasn’t showing up / we couldn’t figure out how to find it–and we’re tech savvy millennial! And there was no one to ask about that either!
I think if you took this iPad model and made it an app, so I could make my order at my house and then pick up the food it would be way better. But the way it is now is not efficient or effective and reeeeeaaaaallly put a huge damper on the meal.
Plus it’s annoying AF to see a bunch of people behind the counter not doing much. There was one girl who was just filling up water glasses for people. Like that was her job. OMG TAKE MY ORDER INSTEAD.
So after you place your order at the black hole of an iPad station, you seat yourself and wait for your food to come out. There is a guy running around YELLING out people’s names. And remember that sleek décor I mentioned earlier? Yeah, nothing to absorb the sound, so it’s just richoeting off of every hard surface and you have to yell to the person across the table from you to be heard. No chill.
I will say the major redeeming characteristic of the experience was the food. It was some pretty damn good food. I had to go through torture to get it. But the huevos rancheros biscuit that I enjoyed was heavenly. And I’ve had a lot of huevos rancheros in my brunch career. The salsa and the beans were out of this world.
Others at the table got the Presley (biscuit inspired by Elvis with peanut butter, strawberry preserves, fried chicken, and bacon), El Chapa (biscuit sandwich with eggs, chorizo, pico de gallo, avocado and salsa), the Mediterranean Eggs (aka an omelet with spinach, feta, tomatoes and grits), and the Say What?! (biscuit with sausage and syrup, butter and fried egg) and beignets. Everyone was very impressed with the food, although the grits were a tad watery.
And when it comes down to it, the food is really what it’s all about right? Next time I get Biscuit Junkie, I’m calling in my order and taking it to go!