So I stumbled upon a new dating app, Loveflutter, which is advertised as the Zooey Deschanel of dating apps. It claims its quirky af and will revolutionize the dating app world. Yeah, ok sure.

Whatever I signed up.

GUESS WHAT. IT’S DUMB.

I downloaded it and it asked me to set up my profile. All it actually asked of me was my quirky secret in 140 characters or less.

UMM OK, WHAT? Say something “quirky” about myself in a tweet? I considered my options:

• “I’m not at all quirky”
• “HAHA WHAT DOES QUIRKY MEAN? LOLZ”
• “I like good puns, and I cannot lie”
• “Zooey Deschanel is dumb”
• “I Akshaly Kant REed”
• “I once killed a man but it turned out to be a dream or so I thought because yesterday this cop came up to me and he knew about the dream LOL”
• 4 x 4 is 16 BOI
• …

I actually don’t even remember what I put. TURNS OUT, I needn’t have put any effort into at all, because no one else did. Take a gander at the men I swiped through because their quirky statements are not at all quirky or funny and sometimes disturbing. (ps: the deal is, you see only their quirky tweet first, but you can view a profile with pictures.)

Some guys didn’t seem to have anything to say.

Some went the quote route.

Alright, I see we have some over sharers…

This was a popular one, not really sure why.

Some were just a waste of time…

Some were kind of creative?

Then, after like five minutes of swiping up (disliking) these gems, I got a notification that this was it. K, I’ll just continue watching netflix and eating popcorn then.