It's Culture / Travel There

How to Float the River in Texas

From what I understand, if you went to college ANYWHERE in central Texas (UT, Texas State, UTSA, etc.), “floating the river” is as common a past time as football games and house parties anywhere else. And, thanks to our balmy, half a year summers, it’s something you can do pretty often.

Having gone to school in Houston, where a floatable river is hours away, I actually never got to do this college right of passage. In fact, I believe the last time I was in a Texas river, I think a Schlitterbahn ride shot me out into it. Schlitterbahn is super fun and all, but the experience just isn’t the same.

So, better late than never, right? I finally floated the river in true collegiate style. By the way, the river floating crowd is not at all just college students. All ages float! This is just an association I’ve made (and maybe I’m the only one!)

Anyways, without further adieu, here’s how to float the river in Texas.

Step 1. Pick a river.

Your main floating rivers are the Comal and the Guadalupe. Both are about the same distance from Houston. The Comal is kind of chill, from what I hear, and doesn’t move as fast as the Guadalupe. If you’re looking for a good entry-level river, I think the Comal is best. Meanwhile, the party river is the Guadalupe. The longest float can take about 6 hours, and 3 if the river is full and moving swiftly (ours took about 4 hours). There’s a main horse-shoe route on the Guad that only takes 2 hours, and you can do it twice if you prefer that. If you’re an adventure seeker, the Guad has more rapids. A few people flipped, myself included, and I have a nice 6-inch skin on my knee. Ouchie.

Step 2. Stock up.

Grab a medium-sized cooler (a large one will fit in a tube, but you run the risk of it tipping if it doesn’t fit in the center of the tube). Our group had a HUGE cooler and it actually did just fine, rapids and all. Next, you’re gonna wanna get ALL the beer. Beer disappears so fast on the river (gotta stay hydrated, lol), so when you think you’ve packed enough, pack a half a dozen more. Go for the cheap beer, btw. It’s also a friendly thing to share your booze with strangers. New friends!

You also might wanna pack water and snacks. We did, and didn’t touch them. Regrets. Also bring sunscreen, but be aware it’s super had to reapply. You’re always wet!

Step 3. Pick a tube rental place.

You throw a rock and hit one of these tube places, but research and find the one with your priorities. You need one with free parking, free shuttle and walkable to the river entrance. We used TubeHaus (fun fact, central Texas has a rich German heritage, hence New Braunfels and, well, TubeHAUS). PS. TubeHaus has $2 off coupons online, and that makes each tube about $18 each. Which is pretty steep, but about the same everywhere. You can buy your own tube for cheaper and the river is a public, free thing, so you can just hop in, but be aware some shuttles won’t take you back to the starting place.

Step 4. Tie everything.

Tubers float in herds on the river. Tether everyone together, and especially make sure someone is tied to the cooler. If you’re in a big group of ten, maybe group five and five, just incase there’s a big rapid. You can also hold on to each other pretty easily! I recommend getting a waterproof bag (like, not a ziplock) and putting your keys and phone in it and tying it to YOUR tube. We put our clothes and our snacks in a plastic bag and put it in with our cooler (not tied to anything) and it somehow slipped out. RIP my dress. Forever bitter about that.

Step 5. Float.

Boom. You’re all set for 3-6 hours of drinking, sun and the occasional rapid.

Things to know:

The laws. There’s absolutely no littering. There are free trash bags at the entrance of the river. TAKE ONE! Tie it to your cooler and put your empties. You can’t have any container less than 5 ounces, so things like Jello shots are strictly forbidden. Stick with just beer to play it safe. Also, there are cops (?) or patrol men that will do a cooler check. The fine is about $500, so don’t risk anything.

The rivers are pretty shallow. Anytime we had to stop and stand, the water was no deeper than my knee, but the depth changes, so be careful. The bottom is usually rocky and slippery, so when it does get really shallow (especially on the rapids), lift your butt!

Wear water shoes or attached sandals. RIP all the flip flops lost in the rivers. I wore flip flops and struggled hard to keep them on. I lost one once, but they float, unlike my sunglasses, which also was taken by the river at far too young an age (sad face).  However annoying and risky wearing flip flops was, it was pretty necessary to wear SOME sort of shoe because of the rocky bottom, plus you have to walk at some point.

4 thoughts on “How to Float the River in Texas

  1. Pingback: 5 Favorite Things: Houston in July | It's Not Hou It's Me | Houston Lifestyle, Food and Culture Blog

  2. Being a mom now (5yr old) and haven’t gone to the river in sometime, I went with my family to the Comal river. The water felt great! You are right about the diversity of ages. Depending on the week vs weekend I saw a lot of adults somewhere in their 30’s, a few younger and older. Definitely not a party river like the Guadeloupe. We stayed across from Schlitterbaun(beautiful-and your right,experience is never the same as an adult but still fun). We visited the shops in Gruene and one particular store “Got Toys” is totally awesome,brought back childhood memories. At the end of our trip, we went to Landa park and to my surprise I loved it. There is a train ride, huge pool and small one, slide and swing to river, playground, and small slides for the little ones. Life guards are also on duty. I definitely will visit this place again.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Good discussion , For what it’s worth if people are looking for a TX Transcript Request Form , my colleagues came across a sample form here https://goo.gl/DPkYnl.

    Like

  4. Pingback: Float Your Problems Away at Mizu | It's Not Hou It's Me | Houston Lifestyle, Food and Culture Blog

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