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The Bachelorette: A Poetic Recap (Week 6)

JoJo, donChad is officially gone, and JoJo and the boys are glad.
So, now I believe it is time to recap with rhymes that are bad.
Of course, my rhymes are far from perfect,
But I think with my wit I can sorta nail it.
This week there were a few dates, exactly three,
And here they are recapped and rhymed by me:

Wells’ date

Wells, Wells, Wells, what do we have here?
The one dude left without JoJo’s kissy cheer.
Wells told the guys he hadn’t kissed JoJo,
And of course they made it awkward, like “Whoa, bro.”
“You haven’t kissed her yet? We’ve all macked a plenty.”
But Wells wanted it to be perfect and not skinty.
Then the rest of the date was uncomfortable to watch.
Is he kissing her now? Or now? This kiss he will botch.
But no, the kiss was actually pretty sweet,
However, JoJo’s expectations he did not meet.
JoJo said bye bye to scrappy Wells on that date,
She decided he was not her one true mate.

Group date

The group date this week seemed pretty poorly planned.
I guess the Bachelor interns must have been recently canned.
The guys and their gal walked around the square,
And then were expected to win at soccer in a game that’s fair.
The winner would get to plant one on JoJo,
And James thought for sure he had no manly mojo.
Yet this time, a nice guy didn’t finish last in this game.
James won a kiss, but then called out Jordan for being lame.
Meanwhile, Alex watched all the drama afoot,
And Jordan swirled his wine like it was a shot put.
JoJo seemed to forgive both parties of men,
But neither got the rose that night for the win.
Luke stole the group date rose from all others,
Because when they kiss they act like they are under bed covers.

Two on one date

For the first time in Bachelor Nation history,
A second two on one appeared like a mystery.
The guys pondered who would go head to head,
And Chase and Derek were chosen, to their dread.
Both were confident when going into the date,
That the other would be the one to meet their fate.
The weirdest threesome tango then occurred,
And each dance move was awful and awkward.
Then at dinner each man stole JoJo away,
And Derek said he was falling and wanted to stay.
JoJo told Chase she didn’t think he was in it to win it,
But he said that shocked him and was in it, every bit.
It was a toss up to predict who was going home,
But in the end it was Jim Halpert who would get gone.

Rose ceremony

Finally, the end of the episode, and where did all the guys go?
Just a few remain, and two more will soon be off the show.
Is it tiny marine Alex? Or swimmer Robby?
Would James T. be the one to be shown the lobby?
In the end, JoJo decided not to decide at this point,
Because neither did she want to disappoint.

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