OK, I’m like really bad at art. Just thinking about creating things scares me and stresses me out. I never doodled cute things — all terrible writings of my name. My mom rarely hung my art — but she did hang her art… because she’s ACTUALLY good at art (I currently have two of her pieces in my living room… let’s talk later about the role reversal of a daughter hanging her mother’s art). I never took a painting class in school. While drinking? Check. On a paint-by-numbers? Sure, why not.

But doing an acrylic painting class with wine in Montrose was too fun to pass up because of my art insecurities. I went. Drank an entire bottle of wine, had a blast and made a masterpiece (by my standards). If I’ve convinced ya, you can book online and use our code (HOU104U) for $10 off!

Thoughts had creating a masterpiece at Pinot’s Palette:

6:45. I’m running late to class. This thought has propelled me back in time to high school and thus caused severe anxiety. Wine soon, Natalie. Wine soon.

7:02. WOOOO no one seems to be painting yet. Maybe we’re the cool kids showing up late. Maybe people will wanna be friends with us.

7:15. Oh so there’s a buffer of time before we start and even later (probably cooler) people came in after us. K.

7:16.  Wine time! We got the last stemless glasses — HURRAH! OK, cool you can keep your wine in this ice bucket thing.. NICE. Or… maybe right at our table behind our canvases for easy access. Sounds like the option I will be taking.

7:20ish. We’ve got a giggly instructor! She just SEEMS like an artistic person. Ugh. I bet her room is beautifully decorated. OK, time to start mixing some paints — we already have paper plates with all the necessary colors.

7:23. Time to streak! (A joke I made multiple times.) Mixing orange and white, I think, we painted the whole canvas. then we added in some yellow.

7:33. Pause for drying. A smarter person would have brought snacks or eaten before. Guess I’m not smart. Good thing I’m in class.

7:34. If I can’t eat, I’ll just drink and judge people. Everybody’s looks pretty similar at this point, tho I already (falsely) feel superior. This is a competition, and I will win. Maybe I’m a lil tipsy.

8:00. After more streaking — lots of random colors, v abstract, it was time to paint the first bridge. I’m, like, halfway through a bottle of wine at this point. This is going to be a BAD bridge painting experience.

8:01. I was right.

8:10. One crooked bridge down, one to go. But first trees! I think we paused after the trees and first bridge before diving into the second.

8:20. Bridge No. 2 is black, not brown, which is scary. Painting the bridge includes painting an arch. LOL. It’s v uneven and wonky. So embarrassing.

8:30. Now time to fill it all in and paint the tiniest handrails on top. These are the wonkiest and most uneven parts of my painting. Jesus.

8:40. Now for the bats! These were my favorite part! I’m really good at painting bats… which are just Vs flying around in the air. Oh well, a skill’s a skill.

8:50. Time for the sun part of the sunset. My sun also looks good. I know it’s just a blob of yellow paint, but dammit I did it!

8:59. Put down your paintbrush, chug your remaining wine, take a group shot, and go home (or to a bar).

9:03. I think I’m an artist now.

9:03 am (the next day). LOL nope.

Know before you go:

• Must make reservations! You can book online and use our code (HOU104U) for $10 off!
• Parking sucks; take an Uber. Then walk to Boheme after! Sure, you’ll have a huge painting with you, but yolo. Conversation starter?
• Def a great date for established couples… but I’m gonna go out on a limb and say it’d be a good first or second date! First of all, you’re doing something with your hands, so it’s not just staring at each other and coming up with things to say, but there are breaks when you’re letting some parts dry, so you do get to chat.
• I went with a friend, and I’m not sure it’s super optimized for a big group. Groups of 2-3 or a date would be best because you’re sitting in rows.
• Paint, apron, brushes, canvas — everything you ever need is included.
• Wear something you wouldn’t cry about getting ruined. It probably won’t happen, but just in case.
• Know what you’re painting before you go! When you book online, you can see the painting. Make sure it’s what you want.
• You is smart. You is kind. You is important. That painting is not. No worries if it didn’t come out great! It’s the journey, not the destination!