In Style / It's Life

#BOXHAUL: Shakespearean Sonnets to My BirchBox Products

birchHi there… are you new here?

If you are, you’re extremely intrigued by this headline. If you’re not new, then you know that: a. I love reviewing my subscription services and that we here at It’s Not Hou love a good poem.  Well, I’m bringing’ poetry back, yeah.

I am obsessed with this month’s BirchBox so so so much. So, in honor of the “Creativity” theme for March… I give you:

Cargo Swimmables™ Water Resistant Blush

Screen Shot 2015-03-25 at 9.10.21 PMWell, what a great blush, I’d have to say
It stays on my face, even in the humidity
But, that price tag, I would not pay
Even though I live in a humid city

I like the orange color
And the metal tin
But, hell no to the 26 dollar(s)
I guess I’ll go to CVS again

Maybe I’ll regret not wanting to buy
If one day a rainstorm takes place
And on that day I meet a dreamy guy
With blush running down my face

Well then, guess I’ll know where to get
This blush and never again fret

Cover FX Mattifying BB Gel

Screen Shot 2015-03-25 at 9.16.20 PMFor this item, it doth not work so well
Because the coloring does not match
It’s bad, you’d definitely be able to tell
It’s as if I have a lighter skin patch

I know I have no one else to blame
I told Birch what I thought was my tone
I do feel really stupid and lame
But what to do with it until it’s gone?

I’ve been combining it with my concealer
Putting the two together and mixing
It makes my make up smoother and gentler
Honestly, it pretty much does the fixing

But if I put too much light BB cream
I end up looking like the face from Scream

Michael Todd Kaolin Clay Mask

Screen Shot 2015-03-25 at 9.16.31 PMDon’t you wish you could play in mud?
Just sit down and splash around?
Well let’s get dirty, grab a bud!
This is the best mud mask ever found.

I guess technically this is clay
I never did learn the difference
I bailed on science in school so idk
I ran away from class, hopped the fence

Only to have this glaring confusion haunt me
I should google it, I really should
But I am too lazy to look and see
I promise you I really would

But it’s bedtime—it’s almost ten!
So clay will be mud tonight, amen.

MyChelle Refining Sugar Cleanser

Screen Shot 2015-03-25 at 9.16.45 PMFinally, a scrub that is so sweet!
It’s made from sugar and is a scrub
Seriously, it’s good enough to eat
On my face, I always want to rub

Apparently my skin it softens
Each time you use, you rid many a dead cell
But for effects you must use it often!
It just cleans my pores so well

The full-size product, I want
But for 25 dollars, I am not sure
I wish money just didn’t daunt
For that reason, the lottery is a lure

I hear for that you have to enter to win
Ain’t nobody got time for that habit to begin

Macadamia Professional™ Nourishing Moisture Masque – 8 oz.

Screen Shot 2015-03-25 at 9.16.54 PMIt’s not just your face that you can mask
Think north of your face that needs TLC
Your hair as well can in moisture bask
Add a little after shampoo, if you’re free

You must wait 5 minutes or so
To really let the cream sink in
After that, just rinse and go
And dry your hair with a grin

For you will have luscious locks
If you use the product from time to time
For hair care, you must think out of the box
But fear overuse, for it can cause grease and grime

But other than that, I love it!
It completes my hair product kit



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