This week, The Bachelor went on Spring Break to study abroad (isn’t that what we all told our parents back in the day?) El Bachelor concursantes van al Mexico. Oye vey.

Amanda (my girl) raked in the points for my suiteball with a 1-on-1 date. Then Olivia, also my girl—embarrassingly, hijacked the group date, and yes, got the rose. Then Lauren No. 42 got a date, finally, and turns out she is the cutest. Then at the rose ceremony, everyone ganged up on Olivia, and shocker, Ben has to “make a tough decision” in “the most dramatic episode of The Bachelor ever”.

En ingles, por favor.

In honor of Mexico, let’s do a little Spanish lesson, like the girls had to do: ****

Viva La Mexico, untranslatable, as in the thing Ben shouts at the beginning of the episode. Also, Ben: Viva EL Mexico.

Like, untranslatable, but both Amanda and Ben both say it, like, every other word.

Cheater, Tramposo, as in things BOTH Amanda and Lauren confessed to dating. Yikes.

Boyfriend, novio, as in the thing all the girls think they have in Ben.

Where is the potty?,  Donde esta el baño? Which is something Ben thinks he needs to learn.

Como se dice “the way to a man’s heart” Yo no se.

I’m ready, Estoy listo, the thing Ben will probably say when Chris H. asks “Overnight date time?”

I love you, Te amo, aka something girls say WAY too prematurely on The Bachelor/

Wine, vino, as in the thing I’m guzzling tonight (so much Kendra Scott).

Angry, enojado, aka how Jubilee acts on the group date

Dog food, comida de perro, which is what Olivia and Ben’s dish looked like

Pouting, poner mall cara, the thing that sent Jubilee home.

Fashion, la moda, which Mexico City is apparently known for. News to me.

Twin, gemelo, as in the twin lost half her brain when her “gemelo” left.

Cliff hanger, elmomento culminante, aka the thing The Bachelor ended on.

**** This was part my spanish minor, part google translate. Soy gringa. Lo siento.