After my Ireland trip, I’ve been a bit jetlagged. Not horribly so, but I’ve been waking up before my alarm pretty consistently for the past couple of days. On Friday morning motivated by the desire to get back into my training schedule and sweat out all the chips and beer I consumed on vacay, I set me alarm for six am with the hopes of getting a nice run before work. Lo and behold I wake up super refreshed at five am and ready to take on the day. I check the temperature on my phone and its somewhere around 66 degree–perfect running temperature before the sun comes up. Super stoked to go on a nice 45 minute “chill run” as my training schedule suggests, I don my gym shoes, grab my ear buds and lock my door before heading out at about six.
I head outside and notice that it’s drizzling. Whatever I can handle that. I’m all amped from my the Nike Rise and Shine video and can take on anything. Yet by the time I walk the fifteen steps to the gate, Houston weather does what only Houston weather can do. In a matter of thirty seconds, the heavens open up and what was initially a benign mist is now a torrential downpour. Now I love water as much as the next person (I did do water sports competitively for half my life…) but I also love being able to walk and use my phone. Deciding that two non-sprained ankles and a non-water logged phone were more valuable than an epic run through a near-hurricane, I turn to Plan B and head to my apartment’s indoor gym for some quality treadmill time. #myfav
I managed to remember the new gym code (management had changed it a week or so ago) and I lolzed over the makeshift word-art printer paper “No Trespassing” sign taped on the door. Shockingly* there is no one at the gym at 6:15am (*not shocking at all), and I manage to find my favorite treadmill (aka the one with the smallest risk for electrocution or shorting out) and begin. So I’m minding my own business, trying to find a Songza playlist that fully encompasses my amped-up, angsty, treadmill bitter mood, minding my own business…and then a police officer comes in.
I start to have this rapid internal monologue as I’m pounding away on my treadmill: Shoot I’m getting kicked out, gym must not be open yet. Wait…It’s like 6:30am…What gym doesn’t open at 6:30am? I thought this gym was open 24 hours…Damn I’m only like 10 minutes into my run and it’s still raining outside. I’m already sweaty. What a waste of a shower…Maybe I can sweet talk the cop and she’ll let me stay….
So the cop comes over to me, I pause my aggressive “90 BPM Hip Hop Running Mix,” and she says, “I’m going to arrest the homeless man in the sauna right now.” WHAT. “Um, excuse me?” “Yes, there is a homeless man sleeping in the sauna. I’m going to arrest him now. I just didn’t want you to be alarmed.” WHAT ON EARTH DO YOU THINK I AM RIGHT NOW?!
I’ve been working out by myself in this gym for about 15 minutes. I even used the restroom earlier and walked right past the sauna. So yeah, in a word, I’m alarmed. Earlier, I was trying to console myself and motivate myself for the treadmill run by thinking oh at least this workout will be safer and well lit because it’s indoors. LIES. Now I understand why management changed the gate code a couple of weeks ago…
So what did I do? Well I continued my run of course. And proceeded to live snap chat the entire encounter. You can’t make this ish up people.
I don’t know if you’ve been following my half marathon training adventures…but in Week 2 I ran into some wild animals imported from South America, Week 3 I was in Ireland, Week 4 I witnessed an arrest. If this pattern continues, lawd knows what next week has in store…