As we all know, ABC’s The Bachelor is the greatest thing to every happen to a Monday (sorry Monday Night Football…). There is nothing better than gathering with your friends, to sit down, enjoy a bottle of wine
with your besties each and obsess over the phenomenon that is reality dating television–that is unless the stars of said reality television are snuggled up with you on the couch.
Chris Harrison, the infamous ABC host, sent out a petition and we answered. And with your help we are going to bring the bachelor himself, Chris Soules, to the great place we like to call home–Houston, Texas. Below is a little somethin’ somethin’ that we wrote up and sent away to the magical Bachelor Bus committee to convince them to come to Texas because we’re like really, really ridiculously good looking. And totally worth it. However, the people at ABC have a history of only crashing houses in the LA area…so we have to be particularly clever and witty to get them to venture over to the Lone Star State.
Hi Chris-Squared. We are a two person team running a Houston lifestyle blog (@nataliejharms and @stasiafacee are the two people and @itsnothouitsme slash www.itsnothouitsme.com is the blog). Pleasure to make your acquaintance.
Basically, we throw elaborate The Bachelor watch parties LIKE THIS
each week and then blog about it LIKE THIS
. And because we don’t do anything half-assed, here are 19 reasons for you guys to come watch Season 19 with us.
1. We have extremely acute observations about the women on the show. Honestly, we have theories about Ashley S. and don’t you want to hear them?
2. We love gifs and make the best ones. I like to say our gif-making skills is a gif(t).
4. We always have wine AND BEER. Hey, women can like beer too. And how sick are you Chris-es from pinot grigios and merlots. LET US GET YOU A MAN’S DRINK.
5. We also have corn-related food. For the premiere: we made corn enchiladas and bean dip with corn chips, and for the second episode it was candy corn and popcorn. Soules, you’ll feel right at home.
6. We are planning to make tshirts. Unrelated, what size tshirts do y’all wear, just wondering.
8. We are sassy as hell. Our twitter game is strong, and we know y’all’s are too.
9. We cute. I know this is, like, pseudo-important bc of all the pictures that will be taken.
10. You know the craziest girls come from Houston (cough, cough Ashlee Frazier) PLS BRING HER TOO.
11. We are pretty devoted viewers. We’ve been watching since Brad (version A). And, considering we are only 23, that’s a pretty solid streak.
12. We’re here for the right reasons. And those reasons are to meet you and, like, become your best friend.
13. We shower regularly, despite what buzzfeed
and Naya Rivera
says, and unlike whoever Michelle Money called out during the premiere, so yeah. We won’t smell bad.
14. If we were contestants on The Bachelor we could have jobs like “Journalist” and “Chemical Engineer” (what we legit studied in college) or we could be “Margarita Taster” and “Former Collegiate Water Polo Player” which we do in our spare time. Up to you. We’re producer pleasers here.
16. Beyonce loves Houston and you will too.
17. We’ll name our first-born kids (boy or girl) after you! And hey, it’s way better than Kale.
18. We’ll write you love notes. We know you <3 those and our penmanship is on point.
19. Why the eff wouldn’t you want to party with us?!
Natalie Harms and Anastasia Hansen
It’s Not Hou It’s Me
PS. Hey Soulesmate, if you do come bring corn bc we had a helluva time finding it in Houston grocery stores in January. In exchange we’ll give you a free hug 😉
Pretty convincing, no? We think so. But since we are the over-acheiving type C-personality (for Chris, of course), we’d like to cover all our bases using the most potent weapon at our disposal to get our point across–the internet. If you think that Chris Soules and Chris Harrison should come party with us (you’re invited too!) RT @itsnothouitsme and tag @c_soules and @chrisbharrison with reasons why they should come to Houston! In the meantime, we’ll be off in our Bachelor lair of wine, roses and
onions pomegranates corn crafting up the most bomb Bachelor watch party you’ve only ever dreamed of….#BachelorTakesHouston