It took me less than five minutes in a HIP Fitness class to realize that I was so screwed. RIP, muscles.

I’m no stranger to pilates, so I thought a reformer class would be NBD. Mistake No.1: HIP isn’t a reformer class. It’s a Megaformer, and this ain’t pilates. It’s a Lagree method taught class, which means taking everyone of your muscles to failure — FAILURE, y’all. Each pose is slow and controlled, held for a few seconds or so, then quickly switching to the next exercise. You know, until you die. Kidding. Sort of.

Like most pilates classes, the movements, while challenging, are great for your joints and are low impact — if you’re doing it right. Don’t worry though, your instructor will tell you if you’re doing something wrong.

HIP has been in Houston for more than two years, but the new River Oaks studio has been around since September. Your first class is $15 OR you can do 2 weeks unlimited for $69. Not a bad deal, but I’m not sure how someone’s muscles can endure multiple classes in two weeks. More deets on pricing.

The class was fast paced — 45 minutes flew by. And, if I haven’t made this clear, it was HARD. Using the machine requires a lot of trust and muscle control. There were a lot of moves I literally did not believe I could make. I really had to trust the machine and myself to get to that point. I did, sometimes… But there were some things I just couldn’t get myself to do. Which was fine! Just a few seconds later, we were on to the next thing.

We went all over the Megaformer — I honestly got lost at some movements. Every single muscle on my body got a workout, and some will likely be sore for days. DAYS. We did lots of planks, lunges, squats, and even something called the mermaid, where you link your feet under a strap and lean back with your torso engaging your obliques. Casual. HARD.

5 quick tips to know before you go:

1. You need gripie socks. You can get these online or, conveniently, at HIP!
2. Wear tight leggings and a tight athletic shirt. You don’t want anything loose or hanging.
3. Bring water and if you need a drink, do it. Everything moves fast, so there aren’t any specific water breaks.
4. Eat light before. Unless you want that meal to make a reappearance. I’m not kidding — it’s hard!
5. Stretch after! Obviously.

TL;DR: Go to HIP Fitness to get your butt kicked. Challenge accepted?