HAHA SO LAST NIGHT. I hung out with a bunch of women and drank wine while we watched other women yell at each other over friendship and a boy. People called people insecure and jealous. Tears were shed. Eyes were rolled. And like I wasn’t in a sorority house.

It was Women Tell All on The Bachelor. And obviously, I can predict a WTA episode at this point in my Bachelor-watching… until this season. For the most part.

Surprise: The drunk college girl watch party. Soul sisters.

Called it: Bathing suit/beach walking montage

Called it: Britt cries. 17 minutes in. Who won the bet?

Surprise: Chris has a blog. Where is it. I want to read it. It shouldn’t take very long to read.

Called it: Jillian gets “jacked up” at Carly for her penis joke.

Called it: Girls scream over each other.

Surprise: Britt laundry lists her good deeds “I, like, play with kids all the time. Obvi want one in my belly.” You’re a waitress. Perspective.

Called it: Kelsey does a calculated cry.

Surprise: Kelsey snots up Chris H’s pocket hanky. Crowd responds with disgust.

Surprise: Chris H. shuts down Trina (WHO IS SHE?) after she asks to say something. “Not now, bitch.”

Surprise: The girls allege Sanderson Poe is not real. But, we found his obit. So he is real. This isn’t Fight Club.

Called it: The Ashley S. Montage is EVERYTHING. It can be played over and over again. 

Surprise: Ashley S. on some of the crazy things she does: “I was kind of bored”

Called it: Ashley S. not crazy. She’s just a lil dumb. And a lot silly.

Called it: Kaitlyn calls Chris out LIKE A BOSS.

Chris: “I’ve made mistakes.” No, yeah, we know.

Called it: Chris laugh montage. It’s just so bad it’s… no it’s just bad.